Wednesday, August 20, 2014

I blogged about it.


We have done it! We're back in San Francisco after nearly a month on the road. The tour was a crushing victory. We raged across the Pacific Northwest back to SF. I went out in search of adventure, and it was found in abundance. Everyone laughed, suffered, enjoyed, and persevered through a very, very long bike ride.

The reality of bike tour is that you do not have time for nonsensical behaviors. You have time to eat, poop, ride bikes, and sleep. Maybe, if you're lucky, you will be able to do a river (or lake) swim. You're probably going to spend a lot of time looking at nature contemplating how insigificant your life is. We're lost in space, and the time is our own. (For the record Brian and Patrick love The Steve Miller Band). Also, this dude in Seattle's Pike Place market ruled.

The best way to summarize the tour would be to use some data points that I compiled along the way. I did this in a very scientific fashion, and I was diligent in my note taking. /sarcasm. Most of these numbers are fairly accurate.

  • 1250 miles ridden (give or take 100 miles). Some riders did more, others less.
  • 690 beers drank (6 beers per pack * 5 ppl drinking each day * 23 days). Not everybody drank, but most of us did.
  • 666 bones collected from the side of the rode. Mostly deer.
  • 552 sausages consumed (4 per pack * 6 people average * 23 days).
  • 432 avocados eaten.
  • 150 close calls with asshole drivers.
  • 42 pounds of jerky eaten.
  • 24 Ortlieb panniers packed completely full of stuff.
  • 24 Sin Dawgs consumed (your flavors a sin)
  • 21 different campsites (including one WalMart).
  • 15 days riding in the same t-shirt (Slayer).
  • 12 (maximum) people riding fully loaded touring bikes in one group at the same time.
  • 11 lips blasted
  • 9 miles of gravel roads.
  • 6 Surly bicycles.
  • 5 broken spokes.
  • 5 broken chains.
  • 4 camp sponges.
  • 3 broken chainring teeth.
  • 3 uneventful crashes (thankfully).
  • 2 flats (which is kind of amazing).
  • 2 new cranksets.
  • 2 instances of hitch hiking.
  • 2 hotels stayed in.
  • 1 broken brake lever (self induced by me).
  • 1 "Oscar the Grouch" sighting (on the ferry from WA to OR).

We climbed hundreds of miles of rolling hills and descended down into redwood forests that are so enormous it is impossible to articulate their presence. You are puny, and pale in comparison to the greatness of the wilderness that we rode. It was tight. The best parts of the trip were the entire trip. My favorite section was the descent out of the Lost Coast and into Humboldt State Forest. Second best section is the Southern Oregon Coast. Both areas had brutal hill climbs which ended in epic descents. The best descent, IMO, was when Jan and I we're coming back from the unnecessary trip into Crescent City on the 199 into Jedediah Smith State park. That shit was straight up speeder bikes. It's a rad feeling to take an entire lane on your bicycle and go faster than the cars do.

Another part of this tour that was sick was meeting interesting folks along the way. The number one dude we met who gets the most dap is Jan Booth. We met holmes in an IGA in Manzanita, OR. It was happenstance that he was touring down the pacific coast at the same time we were. Regardless, he linked up with us and helped us battle gnarly headwinds. Jan also helped out with several mechanical issues along the way. Good to meet you, Jan! Thanks for being patient with our old slow crew. There were many, many others who we met as well. I shall list the names of those who i remember for the record:

  • The WalMart Meth RV Crew
  • Disc Golf Jay
  • Gerald and Nova
  • Neil Warmshowers
  • Bruce Cannondale the beer buyer
  • Derek and Mike at Mike's Bikes Cannon Beach, OR
  • Combat Boots
  • The Narcissist
  • Professor X (also a narcissist)
  • Erin and Margo #1000milesforwomen
  • Wild Bill from Wild Bill's Outlet
  • The hotel lady who wanted to throw out our solar panels
  • Smell Me Bro
  • Mollie and her sister who's name I forget. They found 77 nails in the sand at our camp site.
  • Kathryn from Eureka who is a true ruler
  • GoPro
  • Beardo
  • Morgan the Elf
  • Eric the Fixed Gear Rager

I could go on ad nauseum about the sickness, but I'm out of time and (more importantly) bored of blogging so I'm done. In summary: the trip ruled. I can't wait to do it again. Thanks Brian for organizing and leading us. I appreciate it, greatly.


  1. Molly's sister's name is Pippin!

  2. You forgot the woodland fairy! AND 1 bearbox fixed.